


Tears & Love Letters

by GayKinnie



Category: Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Angst, Forgetten birthdays, Hanahaki Disease, Happy Ending, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Secret Admirer, Self-Hatred, ishimondo - Freeform, kinda slow burn, mentions of breakdowns, soft, soft cuddles
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-21
Updated: 2020-01-08
Packaged: 2020-11-02 08:24:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20682920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GayKinnie/pseuds/GayKinnie
Summary: "He wasn't sure if it was out of concern or something more, but he couldn't take his eyes off the moral compass since then."





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Love like you](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20633636) by [Creatornottraitor](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Creatornottraitor/pseuds/Creatornottraitor). 

Mondo had wound up in detention when the letters began. Leon laughed his ass off as he told him he had detention, but here he was with him. He smirked as Leon plopped next to him in the classroom after school.

"Shut up, I just didn't want you to be alone geez." Leon flipped him off as Mondo gave him another mocking look. Turns out he was here for skipping last period, only to be caught by the moral compass himself. Ishimaru came in and scolded him and gave him the assignments he missed. Leon stuck out his tongue as he turned away, angry and mocking. Mondo gave him a harsh glare. Moving towards him, Ishimaru's facade fell if only for a second. Mondo heard what he yelled at himself after these. He knew what would happen after today's. Maybe it'd be only tears or maybe it will be worse. Mondo remembers hearing the raven-haired man bang his head. It had physically hurt him hearing it the first time. He had wanted to help but he had his own duties to attend to.

The moral compass sat next to him, preparing his lecture for the delinquent. Mondo got one every time he was in here, even though Ishimaru knew it wouldn't matter. He'd still brawl the next week. Still, Ishimaru sat and talked with him, like he thought he could change. And though Mondo would never admit it, it was nice having someone actually believe in him.

"Mondo, this is the second time this week you've been here for brawling.I get that it's your whole edgy leader persona but you need to think more about school! This stage of life is one of the most important in our school years. Don't you want to get into a good college?"

"College ain't that important to a gang leader than it's to a stiff." Mondo muttered, feeling bitter. He never cared much for school, so he sure as hell wasn't going to let Mr. Perfect force him to go through it longer. He regretted his words when Ishimaru shrank, his proud posture failing. As his shoulders sagged, he got up.

"Oh ... then, keep it up. I suppose it makes sense with your talent," his voice was strained. Wait, where is he going? He had walked quickly off, abandoning the classroom. Did Mondo hear sniffles? He stood up, wanting to check on the smaller man. Just as he got to the door, Leon mocking him the entire way, Ishimaru rushed back in. He smashed into the biker's chest, catching them both off guard. 

Ishimaru apologized quickly, before he scolded them for getting up. Neither mentioned the flushed cheeks, or the red welts the had risen on the prefects hands.

He wasn't sure if it was out of concern or something more, but he couldn't take his eyes off the moral compass since then.

\--

Days had passed since the detention with Mondo, but Ishimaru still got flustered about it. He thought about how embarrassing it was, how he, the prefect, had left the room unsupervised for what? Getting his feelings hurt? He was called a stiff everyday, he had pencils thrown at him, insults yelled as he monitored the halls. Being called a stiff was nothing, but it stung coming from Mondo. Maybe it’s because Mondo was the nice one. He rarely teased the hall monitor, and actually stopped people when it went too far.

Then, there is the fact of when detention was dismissed. He broke from that days pressures, he sobbed and pinched. He just wanted to make his family proud, he didn’t want all this. He missed his home and his mom’s hugs. He was calming down when Mondo walked in. Tears were still running down his face. The biker paused, seeing Ishimaru’s state of breakdown. He awkwardly tried to comfort the raven-haired who brushed him off with ‘Im fine’. 

He still cringed, god could he do anything right? He saw the man everywhere, saw the look. Ishimaru knew it wouldn't be long until Mondo joined his tormentors. He was used to destroying any niceties from others, he was always too .. much for people. He tried to tone it down but that didn't work either. Nothing he did worked, so why care? But why didn't it work at all with the biker? Why did he want to be closer?

He went to the internet, wanting answers for his troubles. He posted it on an advice forum, hoping that his suspicions weren't true.

\-- 

The next day passed quickly, Ishimaru was ansty to look and see the post. He needed to know that it was normal, he was just lonely. That wasn't what he got.

When he rushed to his dorm, not having any tutoring sessions for today, the laptop was the first thing he opened. Normally, he'd do his homework, but he needed answers for what had plagued him so badly. He opened the page, praying it wasn't what he thought. 

The first reply,'sounds like a crush dude'. 

Ishimaru felt his heart jump, no it couldn't be. This was just some jokester. He nodded his head, as if trying to make himself believe He skimmed the comments, but most of them were the same as the first. Ishimaru was getting nervous. He couldn't like another man, it was just… wrong. He knew it was supposed to be a boy and a girl. If he liked another boy, then…

He shook his head, flinging those malicious thoughts. It was platonic, Ishimaru was just lonely, that's it. But, maybe he should take their advice and trying to get closer with the biker.

Just maybe


	2. 'Friends' Studying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING!! THIS CHAPTER DOES CONTIAN MENTIONS OF SEXUAL ABUSE. 
> 
> It's not direct, like a full-on rape scene however it is heavily implied, and be safe.

Ishimaru had begun hanging out with Mondo more. It was weird, but the hall monitor was actually pretty good company. Only exception to that being when Ishimaru scolded the biker for breaking various rules. Even then,the passion behind the raven-haired’s eyes was cute enough to let it slide. Leon mocked him for going ‘soft’. Though, after learning so much about Ishimaru it was hard not to be. He could watch Ishimaru rant about rules for hours, as long as that spark stayed in his eyes.

But it didn’t. Not as the days dragged on, it was like he just… went out. They couldn’t hang out as often, with Mondo being busy with gang work. This gnawed at the biker incessantly. Even if they were busy, he’d still try to hang out. Only to be rejected. It stung his ego, even with how sad the ruby-eyed boy looked. 

The broken look on his face hurt Mondo more than anything.

\--

Ishimaru was avoiding Mondo the best he could. He couldn’t be around someone like him, someone with hope, someone good. Ishimaru wouldn’t taint someone like that. Even if the separation caused a forceful burning in his heart. He evaded the biker this much, maybe he’d give up. The raven-haired might lose the only true friend he’s had, but who needs friends. He survived this long without them, what’s losing one? Though Mondo is kind, considerate, and undeniably handsome- Ishimaru flinched, why couldn’t he just be normal? It was this kind of thinking that ruins everything. He ruined everything. Ishimaru thought it was what friends felt; that warm gooey feeling. Or the butterflies that made your knees weak when they smiled. He couldn’t admit how he had fallen for the biker. It was wrong. It wasn’t love, it was a crime against morals. It was drilled into him, isolating him since childhood. 

More bruises and welts had begun distracting Ishimaru from this pain. He desperately missed his friend, but everytime the urge to see him grew unbearable, he’d pinch himself until it went away. This was dirty,  _ he  _ was dirty. How could he? After everything… these feelings had never left him. 

_ The christmas lights burned bright, making the room look more like a movie scene. The gifts were piled neatly under the tree. The sound of warm laughter filled the air with cheer and love. The merry laughter was so cheerful, no one noticed the distant sobbing coming from the study.  _

_ “Granp- grandpa stop! Ple..ase” _

_ Dirty whore, pervert, disgusting. All the insults blurred together as his Grandpa started to put on his pants.  _

_ “Was that love? Did that feel like love-” Ishimaru only sobbed, “- don’t be so pathetic and tell me. Huh? Is that boy really worth it?” He shook his head, curling his naked body into a ball. That wasn’t love, that was pain. He rocked as his clothes were thrown at him. Disgusting, that was what these feelings were, that was what he was. His self-hatred only grew worse as his grandpa, the one he looked up to, turned around just before he walked out and said, _

_ “Wipe that sorry-ass look off your face, nobody would care about someone that sensitive.” _

These feelings aren’t anything more that a disgusting perversion of what he should feel. He couldn’t think about these things. Even if his mind drifted to waking up next to Mondo, hair wild and down. Or to see the cherry blossoms bloom together, seeing Mondo’s soft smile. He missed that smile, that one smile that seemed to be reserved just for him. It was a nice fantasy, but that was it. A fantasy, one that should stay in his mind. What would Mondo think of this? He was supposed to be a moral compass, but that title was a fraud. It felt like everything he’s done as of recent has been a fraud. He sighed, his mind just spiraling further.

Ishimaru wasn’t sure how much time had passed, he only knew that someone was knocking. He got up, brushed off some stray tears and opened his dorm door. Outside of it was Mondo, looking somewhat sheepish. Ishimaru’s jaw dropped as he took in the bikers hair. Instead of being up in a pompadour as usual, the bleached part was down in loose curl covering about half of his face. Mondo turned red as he saw Ishimaru’s stunned stare and tried to push his hair back. 

“Sorry, it started raining earlier and it ruined my goddamn hair,” Mondo said gruffly, looking down in apparent embarrassment. Ishimaru almost instinctively reached out to touch it, the new style intriguing to the hall monitor.

He pulled back, “No need to be sorry Oowada-kun! It looks very… good on you. You should wear it down more often, the look suits you quite well.” The heat flooded his cheeks as he said it. He truly meant the statement, the blush on the biker’s cheeks making him look borderline adorable. They avoided eye contact in awkward embarrassed silence. 

“Did you come here for any specific reason Oowada-kun?”

“Um, actually yeah. I need some homework help and yer an honor student. Think yer could spare some time for me oh-so busy hall monitor,” Mondo teased, giving that same smile that he always gave Ishimaru. Though it dropped as Ishimaru went quiet, thinking over possible excuses. He came up empty-handed and he missed his friend, even if it hurts thinking about him. So he nodded and agreed to an emergency tutoring session.

\--

The library was nearly empty when they got there, which was odd considering the nearing test. The only other people there were Kirigiri and Naegi whispering in the corner, occasionally glance at them. Ishimaru grabbed Mondo’s hand and went to the fartherest corner. It felt weird seeing the couple look at him and Mondo in such a way. Did they know? Was that why they gave such odd looks?

He snapped out of his paranoia as Mondo waved a hand in front of his face.\

N 

“Hey, Taka? Ya there?” Again, that soft silly smile and it made Taka’s heart jump. He nodded quickly, silently opening the textbook Mondo brought. He tried to hide his flustered face and completely forgot what Mondo needed help with. He frantically flipped the pages, trying to find the subject. Eventually Mondo chuckled and found the page within seconds. Taka tried to play it off while Mondo laughed his ass off at the ramblings. 

“Ok, ok, so since ya let a book beat ya-”

“I did not! I was just, I was just…”

“You were just letting a book beat ya, Oh Moral Compass.”

Mondo punched the hall monitor arm teasingly, still laughing at his flushed face. After Mondo stopped laughing at the embarrassed Taka, they finally got to work. Neither of them would ever admit it, but when they had ended the tutoring session the chairs were much closer together. 


	4. Chapter 4

This fic is now on pause as I am working on some other fics that I really need to focus on. I hope to start it again soon but I just really need to focus right now. Im sorry


End file.
